Husbands Should Do This, Not That (Part 2)

Read Part 1 of this post.

Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.
—Colossians 3:19 (NKJV)

“Be not bitter” means more than putting a cork in the rising pressure. It means doing the opposite, be the opposite—be merciful and forgiving. I think this is a major part of what Paul meant in Ephesians 5 when he instructs the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church. Christ is consistently, patiently, and tender-heartedly forgiving toward the church in her many failings and sin.

Husbands are to proactively seek ways to show mercy toward their undeserving wives (mercy is not deserved, or else it’s not mercy), not keeping record of wrongs. Yes, as already noted, all relationships should work this way. But there is meanwhile a unique responsibility on the husband to be forgiving this way. Husbanding is about responsibility, not mainly about privilege. Headship carries with it the mantle of mercy.

Headship also carries the mantle of responsibility when it comes to confession. Husbands should lead the way in confessing their wrongs. In the context of Colossians 3:19, husbands should be on the lookout for times when they should confess their bitterness, and quickly own up to their own sin.

Husband (Sam), do what love would do, not what bitterness would do.

Lord, give me a heart that is more than eager to overflow with love, not bitterness.

And thank you, Lord, for Vicki.