Author: 
- Various
application/pdf iconWedding Handbook.pdf

What Marriage Means at Bethlehem

Bethlehem exists to spread a passion for the supremacy of God in all things -including marriage. We believe that the most profound happiness in marriage can happen only as Christ is at the center. Marriage is designed by God to be a parable of His awesome love for His people. That's why we take marriage and preparation for marriage so seriously at Bethlehem.  We deeply want you to experience the profound joy that comes from a God-centered marriage. Our passion is for God to be glorified through your marriage.
 
People who are looking for a “church wedding” but have not yet seen the beauty of Jesus Christ as revealed in the Bible would not be comfortable being married at Bethlehem.  When Jesus is seen for who He is, then His Lordship over and in our marriage becomes the desire of our heart, and the Scriptures become the blueprint for our marriage. (If you're not at this point, we'd love to do whatever we can with God's power to help you get there!)
 
We believe that marriage is a life-long covenant.  Only in the rarest of circumstances would a Bethlehem pastor be free in his conscience to remarry someone who is divorced. (The official church position on divorce and remarriage is available upon request.)

 

Wedding Contact

Every couple interested in one of the following:

  • having their wedding at Bethlehem Baptist Church
  • having a Bethlehem pastor perform their wedding
  • having premarital counseling with a Bethlehem pastor

should first submit a Wedding Request. Go to our Web site (hopeingod.org/news-events/events/weddings) and choosing Wedding Request on our wedding page.
 
Your request will be received by Lynda Hansen, our Wedding Contact Person. She will guide you through the initial steps of securing a pastor and a place for your ceremony.
 
Eligibility: Members, regular attenders, and their children are eligible to hold a wedding and/or reception at Bethlehem’s Downtown or North campuses. 

 

Pastors

 

Confirming the Date and Selecting a Bethlehem Pastor

Once you have contacted Lynda Hansen, she will send you an electronic Wedding Request form to complete. She will then have the information that will help her in selecting a Bethlehem Pastor for your pre-marital counseling and to perform your ceremony and to confirm the date of your wedding.
 

Non-Bethlehem Pastors

We do allow non-Bethlehem pastors to officiate the ceremony and/or counseling. In the event that a Bethlehem pastor is not performing the ceremony or participating in it, you must choose a Bethlehem pastor as a sponsor to oversee the process.
 

Bethlehem Sponsoring Pastor

Your Bethlehem sponsoring pastor will be able to help guide you through the details and discuss whom you would like to do your premarital counseling. 
 
It is necessary for you to have a preliminary meeting with the sponsoring pastor so that he can meet with you as a couple at least once, to help with details of which an outside pastor might not be aware, i.e. how to make sure he can legally perform a ceremony if he is licensed in another state. Lynda Hansen will help you to set up that meeting once a Bethlehem sponsoring pastor has been assigned to you.

 
Pastor Compensation Guideline

Note:  Our pastors are not compensated by the church to officiate at weddings. Their involvement in this monumental event in your lives (attendance at rehearsal and wedding, sermon preparation, consultations with bride and groom and other key participants) requires that they forego other obligations, commitments, and family time. A generous gift from you is in order. We suggest a two hundred dollar honorarium for the officiating pastor.  
 
If you choose a pastor from out of the area we would suggest an honorarium plus any travel expenses.

Premarital Counseling

 
Bethlehem Pastor

The pastor or his ministry assistant that has been assigned to you will contact you for your preliminary premarital counseling appointment. Couples are required to complete the PREPARE Premarital Inventory. You will receive instructions by e-mail how to complete this inventory. The cost will be $30 per couple. Note: All our pastors reserve final approval until meeting with the couple to confirm that there are no unexpected reasons why they would not, in good conscience, be able to officiate the service. This is not anticipated, but it is important to understand that their commitment is in some measure tentative until they have met with the couple.
  
All couples being married at Bethlehem should, if possible, complete a pre-marriage class series offered at Bethlehem.   Contact Keith or Sharon Steichen at 651-486-7925 for a schedule of upcoming classes. 

 

Premarital  Counseling  other  than  Bethlehem  Staff

It is required that couples meet with a pastor or a qualified premarital counselor for approximately 5-6 hours of instruction prior to their wedding.
 
Couples are free to pursue counseling from outside of the Bethlehem staff as long as it has been approved by the sponsoring pastor.

 

Wedding Coordinators

 
Due to certain responsibilities and stipulations, a Bethlehem Wedding Coordinator is assigned to your wedding upon application approval.

 

Once Lynda Hansen has assigned a Pastor and confirmed your date with Brad Arthur, Building Coordinator, she will send you this information and a building deposit form. Within two weeks, send the completed form and a check for the building deposit. Once that is received, you will then be contacted by the Bethlehem Wedding Coordinator
 
Three weeks prior to the wedding, the coordinator will schedule a final appointment to confirm the details of your wedding.
 
At the rehearsal, the coordinator will provide tips on details and etiquette, meet with the ushers to discuss their responsibilities, and coordinate starting times and cues with your musicians.
 
To ensure that details previously discussed are in place, the wedding coordinator  will  be at your wedding one hour prior to the ceremony, confirming instructions given to ushers, making last-minute checks with sound technicians and musicians,  and helping ensure that guests and family are seated in a timely manner.
 
If the reception is at the church, the coordinator will remain at the church until the reception is underway.   

 

Rehearsals

 

Please plan your rehearsal dinner to follow the rehearsal. This will allow you the most flexibility with your evening, and will allow our staff to spend the evening with their families.

 

Rehearsals are usually scheduled as follows:

Rehearsals at 6:00 PM Thursday for a scheduled Friday evening wedding
Rehearsals at 6:00 PM Friday for a scheduled Saturday wedding

 
The Officiating Pastor and/or the Wedding Coordinator will direct your rehearsal, which will last one hour. 

 

Attendance at Rehearsal 

  • All of the wedding party
  • All musicians
  • The Sound and Light Technician If you wish for the technician to remain after the rehearsal to enable your musicians to practice you must make these arrangements prior to the rehearsal. There will be an additional charge for this additional time commitment.

Items to bring to your rehearsal:

  1. your programs
  2. unity candle (if using)
  3. payment envelopes for each wedding service i.e. Pastor's honorarium, musicians fee, etc.
  4. any pre-recorded music ( CDs)  that you wish to use in the ceremony.
    Do not bring any bridal or bridesmaids dresses or any tuxes the evening of rehersal. They cannot be stored at the church.

Ceremony

Decorations    

                                                           
Decorating Times are outlined below, unless otherwise indicated by wedding coordinator
 
Downtown Campus:

  • Thursday Rehearsals: Sanctuary available 3 hours prior to wedding rehearsal
  • Friday Rehearsals: Sanctuary and Main Hall available 10:00 AM on day of rehearsal

North Campus:  

  • Thursday Rehearsals: Sanctuary available to decorate at 10:00 AM on day of rehearsal
  • Friday Rehearsals: Sanctuary available to decorate at 10:00 AM on day of rehearsal

The church is often decorated seasonally i.e. Missions Focus. Quite often, the decorating scheme is not decided upon until shortly before the event.  As your wedding date approaches, please be in contact with your wedding coordinator. She will share with you any information she has regarding upcoming decorations. 
 
Sanctuary: Any flower arrangements that are attached to a vertical wood surface, such as a pew end or a pillar, must be secured with padded clamps.  Nails or any other type of mechanical fastener may never be used to attach decorations to any surface.  A special removable tape manufactured by 3M is an approved substance to use for attaching light weight decorations to walls or ceilings in the Commons Area.
 
Placement of Bethlehem Items: Any items that you are using that belong to Bethlehem will be placed in the chosen location by the Bethlehem custodial staff.
 
Flower Petals: If you choose to have a flower girl drop live flower petals, you are required to use an aisle runner.
 
Candles: For both fire safety and clean-up purposes, the only type of taper candles we can allow in the sanctuary are mechanical candles. We provide eighteen 15” tapers for the brass candelabras and two 12” tapers for the side candles of the unity candle at no charge to the couple.
 
You will need to provide your own unity candle.  

Arrival Time: 

The wedding party may arrive four hours prior to the wedding ceremony. The dressing rooms will be available for your use at this time. The exception to this is Saturday morning when you may not arrive any earlier than 7:30 AM regardless of the start time of the wedding.

Dressing Rooms:

We provide dressing rooms for men and women. All rooms have racks for hanging clothes and full-length mirrors. The women's dressing room is also equipped with an iron and ironing board.  Bathrooms with vanities are nearby. All items must be removed prior to the beginning of the ceremony. Going-away clothes for the bride and a make-up case may remain in the dressing room for later use, but must be placed on the hanging rack so our custodians can clean the remainder of the room.

Eating in Dressing Rooms

Since the primary use of the dressing rooms is a nursery for the children at Bethlehem, we  cannot  allow  eating of/or the  presence of peanuts in the dressing room areas as some children have life-threatening allergies.
 

Child Care: 

We are not able to provide childcare facilities or open up a nursery for the use of any children present.
 

Snacks:

We suggest that families consider providing a light snack for the wedding party prior to the ceremony such as crackers and cheese or fruit and a clear beverage (no red dye products are permitted).  Counter space for serving and chairs for the wedding party and family members will be set up in the area outside of the dressing rooms.  You will need to provide paper plates, napkins etc. and be responsible for cleaning up this area prior to the ceremony.

 

Ceremony Times:

Downtown  Campus

Friday: 6:00, 6:30, or 7:00 PM; all guests and wedding party out of the building by 9:00 PM
Saturday: 10:00 AM - 1:00 PM; all guest and wedding party out of the building by 3:00 PM
The church building is not available for Sunday weddings.

North Campus

Friday: 6:00, 6:30, or 7:00 PM; all guests and wedding party out of the building by 9:00 PM
Saturday:  10:00 AM – 12:00 PM; all guests and wedding party out of the  building by 3:00 PM The church building is not available for Sunday weddings.
 
“Out of the Building” - All photos must be complete, all decorations removed, and the building empty so that our custodial staff can begin their duties in preparation for our next service.

Order of Service:

The following is a general outline for an evangelical wedding ceremony. There are many variations from which you may choose. This is provided simply to help you consider your preferences for the elements common in most ceremonies.

  • Musical Prelude (often begins 30 minutes prior to the ceremony)
  • Candle Lighters light candles on platform (optional)
  • Music for seating of parents/grandparents (could be continuation of prelude or special song)
  • Seating of parents/grandparents
  • Processional
  • Giving of the Bride/Call to Worship/Welcome/Charge by Pastor
  • Special music:  solo, song or hymn (optional)
  • Scripture Reading
  • Message
  • Vows/Ring/Pronouncement/Kiss
  • Unity Candle/solo or special music (optional)
  • Prayer
  • Presentation of Bride and Groom
  • Recessional
  • *Sample vows are available from your pastor.

Photographer & Photos         

                                                                         
We strongly encourage you to have your pictures taken prior to the wedding ceremony. You should plan to have the photo session end 45 minutes prior to the ceremony. (This will allow you to be finished and out of sight before your guests arrive and will give you an opportunity to have a few calm moments.) Please do not forget to inform your guests and family what time to arrive for pictures.
 
Plan at least one hour  for  photos. If you have a large extended family or a number of children, you should allow more time for these photographs.  A schedule of times for family groups, wedding party, etc. should be communicated to those involved.
 
If your wedding is on a Saturday at the Downtown Campus and you have chosen to have a few photos taken after the ceremony, they must be completed before 3:00 PM. All persons and equipment must be out of the sanctuary by 3:00 PM without exception.
 
The sanctuary balcony provides great vantage points for both a video camera and photographs during the ceremony.  If your photographer has not previously photographed a wedding at Bethlehem, you may wish to set up a time for him/her to visit so the two of you may consider angles and backgrounds you may wish to use.    

Music and Musicians                                                             

Please keep in mind that this is a house of worship. Although we do not forbid secular music, all music should in some way have God and His plan for marriage as its theme. Your wedding coordinator can suggest titles, music and musicians.
           
The church pianos are tuned monthly downtown and every six (6) weeks north. If you want to have the piano tuned the week of your ceremony, we will need at least four weeks notice and there will be a charge of $70.00 to cover the cost of tuning the piano.
 
It is important to remember that any musicians from Bethlehem that you might ask to provide musical numbers for your wedding are not compensated by the church and an honorarium would be in order.

Suggested honorarium:

Pianist:  $200.00 which includes attendance at rehearsal, wedding prelude, ceremony and recessional.
If your musicians don't give you a fee, be sure to ask.

 

We are equipped to play recorded music (CDs) of your choice, either instrumental music or accompaniment. Please bring this music to the rehearsal if you will be using it.

 

Bethlehem items for your use at no charge:

Plants: Bethlehem owns a number of large green silk plants. You are welcome to use them within the room in which they are located.  At certain times of the year the sanctuary is decorated with living plants. These are considered part of the church decorations and may not be moved. Your wedding coordinator will be able to advise you on this as your wedding date approaches.
 
Block Tables, Pillars: Bethlehem owns two oak block table and eight pillars (ranging from four to six feet in height).
 
Kneeling Bench: Kneeling benches that match the wood tone and upholstery of the sanctuary.
 
Candle Lighters/Snuffers: Brass candle lighters are available. 
 
Brass Candelabras and Mechanical Candles: There are two brass candelabras, each with nine candle holders. For both fire safety and clean-up purposes, the only type of taper candles we can allow in the sanctuary are mechanical candles. We provide eighteen 15” tapers for the brass candelabras and two 12” tapers for the side candles of the unity candle at no charge to the couple.

Items to be rented or purchased:

Aisle Candelabras: 

Downtown: There are 17 rows of pews in the center section of the sanctuary.
North: There are 18 rows of pews in the center section of the sanctuary.  

 
Aisle Runner: 

Downtown: The center aisle is 56 feet long and 6 feet wide. You will need to purchase a 75 foot aisle runner. It should be a fiberglass material as opposed to plastic. If you choose to have a flower girl drop flower petals, you are required to use an aisle runner.
North: The center aisle is 57 feet long and 7 feet wide.  You will need to purchase a 75 foot aisle runner.  It should be a fiberglass material as opposed to plastic. If you choose to have a flower girl drop flower petals, you are required to use an aisle runner.

 

Clean-up - Dressing Rooms

All dressing rooms must have all personal items removed prior to the ceremony with the exception of the bride's going-away clothing and a small make-up bag.
 
A $25.00 cleaning fee will be added to the fee for renting the church facility. If the dressing areas are left in the condition in which they were found, this fee will be refunded to you approximately two weeks after the date of the wedding.
 
Care should be taken to dispose of all pins in proper receptacles.

Clean Up - Sanctuary and Main Hall

It is the responsibility of the wedding party to remove all decorations you or your florist have put in place. You need to supply a box for candles, remaining programs, guest book and pen. Anything remaining after the ceremony will be disposed of by the custodial staff.
 
All rental items must be returned to the rental company or arrangements made for pick-up by the company immediately after the wedding ceremony. They may not remain at the church beyond the day of the wedding.  
 
It is the responsibility of the custodial staff to put away tables, chairs, candelabras etc. in the Sanctuary, Commons Area and Main Hall (if used).

Other Events on Day of Wedding

 
We have a policy of not double-booking weddings. There will not be another wedding scheduled before or after your wedding. 
 
There may be other church events scheduled in another part of the building on the day of your wedding. We will make every effort to see that events are finished in advance of the wedding to ensure that you will have parking available for your guests. The wedding party and guests will have sole use of the main parking lot at the Downtown Campus. Off-site parking will be provided for any other events occurring at the same time as your wedding.
 
We have spaces for 114 cars in the lot immediately adjacent to the church building, including eight handicap-accessible spaces. Metered parking is available on the street around the church. Please keep in mind that no overnight parking is allowed in Bethlehem's parking lot and that Bethlehem staff is not responsible for parking controls if there is a Metrodome event on the date of your wedding or rehearsal.

Maps

 
A map detailing how to get to any of the Bethlehem's campuses from around the Metro area is included in this packet of information or you may download digital file by visiting hhttp://www.hopeingod.org/Maps Directions.aspx
 

Ceremony – Miscellaneous

Communion:

Taking communion during a wedding ceremony is not permitted at Bethlehem.

 

Alcoholic Beverages:

The serving of alcoholic beverages is not permitted on the church property under any circumstances.

 

Dancing:

Dancing is not permitted in the church building.
 

Smoking:

Smoking is not permitted in the building.
 

Tossed Items:

Rice, birdseed, confetti, glitter, petals or any other similar substances are not permitted to be thrown in or out of the building.

Reception or Rehearsal Dinner

Due to the set-up requirements and time constraints, we are able to host either the rehearsal dinner or a wedding reception.  The Main Hall and two adjoining rooms will accommodate 350 people.  Any type of reception (cake, punch, hors d'oeuvres or sit down meal) following an early wedding is permitted.  Saturday receptions must end by 2:30 PM and all removal of decorations must be completed by 3:00 P.M.  to enable the custodial staff to clean up in preparation for the evening service.

Kitchen Coordinator – Brenda Remus

You must contact our kitchen coordinator, Brenda Remus (612-338-7653 ext. 119 or 763-521-9478) for permission to use the church's kitchen facilities.  Brenda will coordinate the times, give you information regarding available tables, dishes, and serving ware and any equipment that you might need to rent.

 

Caterer

Brenda is available for catering your wedding reception or rehearsal dinner.  However, if you wish to use another caterer, Brenda will review with you the names of caterers who are approved. (A caterer's status as “approved” simply means that he/she has catered events at Bethlehem before and that the event was a pleasant experience for both the people who hired the caterer and for our building staff.) If you would like to use a caterer that has not served at a prior event at Bethlehem, Brenda would need to meet with the caterer and go through a kitchen orientation. In all cases, Brenda would have the final word on which caterers and events can be placed on the church's kitchen calendar.
 

Building Rate Schedule for Weddings and Suggested Honorariums

 

Service Fees

Included in this fee are the charges for custodians, wedding coordinator, sound technician, use of church sanctuary for the rehearsal, use of church sanctuary for wedding,  Commons Area, dressing areas, and other areas assigned by the wedding coordinator for your wedding.
 

Wedding Ceremony & Rehearsal

  • Members    $500.00
  • Regular Attendees    $500.00
  • A $25.00 clean up fee will also be charged. 
    (If the dressing rooms are clean after the ceremony, the fee of $25.00 will be reimbursed.) 

Honorariums

Our pastors are not compensated by the church to officiate at weddings. Their involvement in this monumental event in your lives (attendance at rehearsal and wedding, sermon preparation, consultations with bride and groom and other key players) requires that they forego other obligations, commitments and family time. A generous gift from you is in order.
 
We suggest a two hundred dollar ($200.00) honorarium for the officiating pastor, plus any travel expenses if the pastor is coming from out of town. 

Reception (Building use only, not catering)

  • 200 people or less     $500.00
  • 200 people or more      $1.00 /person
  • Kitchen Deposit (refundable)       $100.00
  • Outside catering deposit (refundable)       $100.00

© 2012 Bethlehem Baptist Church