Small Group Leaders Interacting with Children.pdf

The main task of the small group leader is to "interact personally with each child in his group in order to encourage the child in spiritual growth."    Of course, the first response that comes to mind is to think about the small group time and activities that are connected to it (discussions, prayer, notes to the child, visits, calls to parents, outings, etc.)   However, there is another dimension to what a small group leader can do to foster spiritual growth in children and that is interacting with children during transitions, worship time, and the lesson.  In addition, the small group leader may take advantage of “teachable moments”.   Some of this interaction may be aimed at relationship building, some at encouragement, and some at developing personal discipline.  Hopefully, as a result of the rest of this article, the importance of this dimension will be more clearly understood. 

Transition Times 

The first transition time takes place after children enter the room and before any “formal” activity begins.  During this time younger children play and older children “get settled.”  With young children it is more natural to be involved with a child or a group because play areas are designated and adults know that there is limited ability on the part of the “little ones” to take personal responsibility.  As children grow older, however, the response of adults seems to be dulled.  An observer is more likely to see adults in a cluster at the back or side of the room and children visiting or waiting.  This is probably because the adults know the children have a greater ability to be responsible and “take care of themselves.”  Yet from a different perspective this is a great time to get to know the children, build relationships, and model being a Christian adult.  Here are a few suggestions to make the most of this time. 

• Welcome the child by name.  Be aware of the child’s demeanor and try to have an intentional personal connection with the child.  This interaction can range from “Glad to see you, Joe,” to a comment on hair, clothes, etc, to “I missed you last week,” “Did you get the Fighter Verse,” or “Have a good week?”       
• Choose a child or children with whom you would like to visit.  This can happen while the child is entering the room, in the play area, or when he/she has found a chair.  For older children the door area is a good place to visit because you can talk to an individual child and still fit in a few greetings or  “hellos” to others (if appropriate) as they enter.  If you cannot greet them as they enter be sure to let them know later on that you saw them.  
• Stand, sit, or assume whatever posture is appropriate for the age group, to talk with two or three children in a group.  It is okay if the beginning the conversation is limited or seems a little uncomfortable.  You may even have to invite yourself to be involved.  The important thing is to establish that it is acceptable and comfortable to talk to an adult during this transition time.  A lot of very profitable interactions can result.  
• Make a point of following up on previous interactions or things that you know are important to the child.  Children remember things they have shared which were important or significant to them.  Questions like, “Did you get your puppy?”,  “Where is the Viking jacket you liked so much?’, “Was the Fighter Verse easier or harder this week?”  “Did you remember to pray?” can be ways to develop relationships and have meaningful interactions.  

While it is impossible to do everything every Sunday, it is possible and necessary to build relationships and have ongoing interactions with children every Sunday.  Distance from adults should be discouraged.  Children respond to “encouragement to grow spiritually” more openly with adults who know them and who they know more personally.  A lot can be done with the children in the room using time that is available during transitions. 

The next transition takes place when children move from the lesson into their small group time.  While time is limited, and should be because it is needed for the small group, it is still possible for short personal interactions (probably more meaningful than we think) to take place.  Such things as asking a child to carry something for you, a comment on their involvement/behavior in class or “Hope you are ready for some hard questions in small group.”,  “Did you like the lesson?” can have significant impact on a child, particularly if it goes on throughout the year. 

(NOTE:  This means small group leaders must have all materials and other preparations in place before the children arrive and the class begins.)   

Let us not forget the last transition, the end of small group time.  Children may be focused on leaving and parents may be focused on getting their child, so time is limited.  However, it is a time when acknowledgements and good byes can be done.  Certainly comments like the following can be fit in: “Good bye, see you next week.”,  “Good answer to the question about (fill in the blank), Tom.”,  “Nice picture, be sure to show mom and dad.”, or “Keep up the good work on Fighter Verses.”  Again, small group leader must intentionally carry this out.  This means whatever needs to be put away will have to wait and some structure (positioning of the small group leader or organization for dismissal) will have to be planned. 

(NOTE:  In all of these encounters, the adult is modeling the Christian man or woman, a “new creature in Christ.”  What an impact on the children to experience support, caring, interest, reflection, or a touch from this adult who has been identified as a Christian.  Part of thinking and preparing for these transitions needs to be through prayer around such scriptural imperatives as Colossians 4:6.) 

Worship Time and Lesson Time 

The responsibilities of the small group leader during worship and teaching are contained in the Small Group Leaders handout in your Sunday School folder.  It clearly identifies things small group leaders can do to make these times more meaningful for the children.  It might be helpful for you to review this list. 

“The small group leader must be actively involved in whatever is going on in the classroom.  He is NEVER a spectator.  He is constantly monitoring the class in order to respond to what is happening.”   This statement clearly indicates that the small group leader does not just listen to or sing along with the worship leader or just listen to the lesson.  He must be ACTIVELY INVOLVED, CONSTANTLY MONITORING IN ORDER TO RESPOND TO WHAT IS HAPPENING AROUND HIM.  Here are a few suggestions for being actively involved. 

• Sit among the children and not next to another adult or in a ring around the back of the room.  Sitting with the children shows that you want to be with them.  Find a seat before everything gets started and talk to the children around you.  One nice thing to do is to ask the child or children if you can sit with them.  (Remember, with older children there might be a little “uncomfortable time.”)  
• Be involved in the worship.  Sing as heartily as you can even if you think you have a bad voice.  It might be nice for a child to be encouraged by an adult whose physical voice is not so good, but whose heart overflows in song to the Lord.  (You can always make a comment to those next to you such as “I have a bad voice, but a glad heart” or “Thanks for singing with me.”)  
• If there are motions to a song, do them with enthusiasm (at least as much as your personality allows).  Show real enjoyment.  Some of the words in the songs and  comments made by the worship leader cannot help but bring an expression of gladness.  
• Take a comment or a question from the worship time to your small group time.   It could be a word, line from a song or a point of emphasis made by the worship leader.  
• Get requests from your small group or the children you sit with and share them with the worship leader.  It is beneficial for kids have input, to think about the songs that they like, and why they like a particular song.  
• Monitor the children around you and encourage them to sing.  Boys particularly need encouragement in singing.  A short conversation or comment such as, “I noticed you singing; isn’t it great.” or “I didn’t see you singing.  Were you singing in your heart?”   (One word of caution: be careful not to cause undue embarrassment to a child in front of others.)  
• Sit with different children.  While you may want to zero in on children in your small group God may have an appointment for you with a child or children in another group.  
• Constantly monitor what is going on around you.  Children sometimes get carried away with the motions that go with a song.  Children can get overly enthusiastic with fast paced, energetic songs.  They can get distracted during the lesson.  Children do tend to whisper, and sometimes they have an inappropriate agenda.   Remember that God invented adults to help children grow into adults with the qualities He appreciates in them.  Keeping children focused or drawing them back to focus  (whether it is the worship time or the lesson) is the responsibility of loving, caring adults.  This takes a response.  Notice what hands are doing, what the body position is, where the eyes are, what is going on between children.  In other words, nurturing and shaping children requires being aware of the signs and signals of what is going on with the children around you.   
• Choose what needs a response and what does not.  The timing and type of response must be decided by the individual and depends on the situation.  (A glance or smile between friends after an enthusiastic song, even with a couple of words is very different from continual whispering or a conversation that goes on into the next song.).  It can be a direct response to what is happening at the time or it can be deferred to when an appropriate circumstance permits.  It can be a glance, a watchful look, a hand on the shoulder, a short directive or a nonverbal cue.  In any case, responses are appropriate and necessary.  CHILDREN NEED TO KNOW ADULTS SEE THEM AND WILL GIVE THEM GUIDANCE.  
• Don’t be afraid to let children know expectations for behavior Do not be afraid to compliment good behavior.  It is a great thing for a child to be acknowledged for good or improved behavior.  Even to have an adult notice how difficult it was to sit through a longer lesson can be an encouragement. 

This is not an exhaustive commentary on the work of the small group leader outside of the small group, but hopefully it gives some ideas to consider and will encourage you to “interact personally” to “encourage the child to grow spiritually.”   

A small group leaders involvement with children begins when the children enter the room and goes through the lesson.  Their work is never done.  Praise God for that opportunity.